Musings

Oof, it's the morning after, the typical remorse and embarrassment after an evening of boozing it up, bull shitting and carrying on has settled in - my head should be a brick this morning but it isn't - Oh and there's a story about my missing keys - yeay me!

I finally checked those lottery tickets this morning - of the nine tickets, only two had any winnings, and those were for the smallest "prize" - won't cover the taxi fare to get back to my car, (pump it back into a dream ticket!).

I've been watching TV this morning too! Well, kind of watching it; I've turned it on and there are kids cartoons on it - it makes a noise here - kills the institutional environment of my crappy little apartment maybe?

I am kind of pissed with the contract I am working on currently , it has the feeling of a political thing for the agency to disprove the effectiveness of a certain application vendor and it is feeling like a bad place to have my name/work attached to it. The contract is finished at the end of the month and to be honest my heart isn't into it anymore - my job is to provide a solution, not to break them!

It used to be that I didn't direct my career, but rather let it direct me; and I have been somewhat successful however, (as I have stated in an earlier post) I am completely dis-satisfied with my career lately, and I've been struggling to decide on what to do about it. The speculation surrounding this last job does have one benefit; I've been obliged to look more closely at the industry within which I am working. There's many facets and a lot of politics but I believe I have an opportunity to now get ahead of the game and position my career for the near future! It is a gamble, however it will be better than wallowing in uncertainty and provides me with a challenge and finally some direction too. No play, no reward.

My kids are growing up. Being physically so far away from them emphasizes the realization of how much they are maturing when I see it. My oldest is driving a car now, (even has his own car) and this weekend he did what has been seen as a passage of rights for young people in that small town...he made the 200 km trip to "Town" on his own for the first time. I can remember my own first time! Kick me, I am getting old.


Seasonal Affective Disorder.
AKA - winter depression or winter blues. Uh huh. So, winter has finally broken! Although I suspect Momma Nature will still throw another winter storm before all is said and done, spring is here! We all are happier for it I am sure, I know I am. No snow, no - 20 degree weather, no wrapping up in so many layers just to keep warm! Woot!
I brought the "Rain Maker" out of hibernation last weekend! It was refreshing to just drive for the sake of driving...there's something freeing about being that close to ... everything! The asphalt is only inches under my feet, wind gets you everywhere like water when you're swimming, little kids point and stare, and smarter people would not be riding just yet! It's still freaking cold!
Note to self, remember the red light means stop!