I have been in Ottawa just over 5 years and I have found that there is as much politics away from the hill as there is on the hill. That shouldn't be surprising, really however considering how small the professional community I work in is, it can also be a very dangerous game to play.
It is something I work hard to stay out of, (I will leave that to someone who is good at it). The politics are usually covert statements, more whispers or hints, of allegations of some misconduct, (hint hint nudge nudge wink wink) and so one can usually keep out of the stories and games relatively easily - but these games can still catch you from behind, and sometimes, dangerously so.
On a evening out with a couple of colleagues/friends, a third came along and was introduced to me. Nice enough girl who "just happens" to be involved in the same work arena as myself and the others, (wink wink). We met again several days later in a honestly professional capacity and she is now a client for my employer, and I am out of the game again - a little innocent politicking and business moves on.
I recently met up with "her" in the office and was hit with a nasty request...
"Can I ask you a question - and keeping in mind as I ask that I am asking not as one professional to another, but as a girl with whom you've shared some drinks with ... I've heard that you are working with *insert name here* lately; did you know that he did the original set up at our office? Tell me, what is your opinion of *insert name here* work? Is he ..."
WTF!?
You don't have to be very "SMRT", (intentionally spelled SMRT) to see where she was going with this; I consider myself to be at least as SMRT as the average bear!
That was taking the office politics game to professional suicide! Therein lies my bitch - did she really think I would shred another colleague on her behave? Did she really think that little of my own professionalism, does she value her own that little?
The muse? This game is all around, all the time...and to be honest, one I am tiring of. It wears on the soul...having to watch what you say to whom, questioning what one says to you, this game of watching your back, and your front all the time...
Grr!
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
40 Something Sucks
Dating in my 40's sucks!
It used to be so easy - I had my ideals of what is and what should be and they were all I needed however a recent, kind of relationship destroyed my "black and white" rules of engagement.
It used to be that when in a relationship I committed to and demanded monogamy, both physical and emotional. Now, since I've been dating mostly girls who are not single, there was little need to concern myself with that! What's more, I never really knew the husbands or other "partners" so jealousy was never a concern either - like I said, it was easy, (on me especially).
So what? Well, in an effort to change things up and get on a path, I cleared house, kind of. I am not dating anyone of late and so, here I am today, (Valentines day!) not dating any one and realizing that the silence in my apartment is too loud.
I could go back to dating married girls, but that is leaving me empty, I don't trust in monogamy and that all accumulates to ... an empty apartment.
Dating in my 40's sucks!
It used to be so easy - I had my ideals of what is and what should be and they were all I needed however a recent, kind of relationship destroyed my "black and white" rules of engagement.
It used to be that when in a relationship I committed to and demanded monogamy, both physical and emotional. Now, since I've been dating mostly girls who are not single, there was little need to concern myself with that! What's more, I never really knew the husbands or other "partners" so jealousy was never a concern either - like I said, it was easy, (on me especially).
So what? Well, in an effort to change things up and get on a path, I cleared house, kind of. I am not dating anyone of late and so, here I am today, (Valentines day!) not dating any one and realizing that the silence in my apartment is too loud.
I could go back to dating married girls, but that is leaving me empty, I don't trust in monogamy and that all accumulates to ... an empty apartment.
Dating in my 40's sucks!
Keeping the Dream Alive
I have 6 lotto 6/49 tickets for various draws pinned to the wall, each one is an "instant pick" with encore.
I never check them - that way the dream stays alive; they all might be winners and I can keep on dreaming; or i can check them and know that I have to go back to work.
I never check them - that way the dream stays alive; they all might be winners and I can keep on dreaming; or i can check them and know that I have to go back to work.
40 Something Sucks
So, I turned 40 last year - yeay me; it has been a very difficult year personally, professionally and romantically.
It's probably just the the infamous "mid life crisis" but I think, more than just that. I made some life style changes, started several "projects", (work things, eating vegetarian, dropped 25 lbs) to break out of the slump that 40 put me into but nothing pulls my head out of the sand. I even went so far as to buy a motorcycle, (I just couldn't be the balding 40 year old ass in a Corvette or convertible sports car) but here I am a year later and still struggling.
I have decided that I am thoroughly unhappy with my career. Monster number 1.
It's not the people I work with, they are great but there's simply no personal reward in it anymore, (it was never big money but I stayed at it because it was mostly fun...now it isn't that either). So now I am debating a career change; I am also debating whether to move to another city to change things up. I have even been thinking I could head down to the US, or further, Australia? New Zealand, Ireland? Who knows? I certainly don't at this point, but I have concluded that I can't reasonably make such a large decision until I get my head out of the mir it's in!
to be continued...
Creed
"Wrong Way"
What makes you touch?
What makes you feel?
What makes you stop and smell the roses in an open field?
What makes you unclean?...
It's probably just the the infamous "mid life crisis" but I think, more than just that. I made some life style changes, started several "projects", (work things, eating vegetarian, dropped 25 lbs) to break out of the slump that 40 put me into but nothing pulls my head out of the sand. I even went so far as to buy a motorcycle, (I just couldn't be the balding 40 year old ass in a Corvette or convertible sports car) but here I am a year later and still struggling.
I have decided that I am thoroughly unhappy with my career. Monster number 1.
It's not the people I work with, they are great but there's simply no personal reward in it anymore, (it was never big money but I stayed at it because it was mostly fun...now it isn't that either). So now I am debating a career change; I am also debating whether to move to another city to change things up. I have even been thinking I could head down to the US, or further, Australia? New Zealand, Ireland? Who knows? I certainly don't at this point, but I have concluded that I can't reasonably make such a large decision until I get my head out of the mir it's in!
to be continued...
Creed
"Wrong Way"
What makes you touch?
What makes you feel?
What makes you stop and smell the roses in an open field?
What makes you unclean?...
Side Walk Surfing
This might just turn into a simple bitch...
What the hell is it with some people walking on the sidewalks who won't move over to make room?
Do you really think that I am going to walk out into traffic just for you?!
Grr
So yeah, this is just simply a bitch!
What the hell is it with some people walking on the sidewalks who won't move over to make room?
Do you really think that I am going to walk out into traffic just for you?!
Grr
So yeah, this is just simply a bitch!
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